To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
