When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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