I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize