all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
