Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
