That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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