But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
