and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
In other news, I just burned my penis
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize