I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i believe in u and ur pee
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
