Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
