I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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