So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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