I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
