dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
