It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just found a bag of teeth...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
