you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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