So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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