had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
