So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
