can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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