so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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