508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
