You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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