I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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