would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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