I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
