So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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