My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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