Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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