Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This baby is an asshole
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
