Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
