can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize