Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it glows. i had to have it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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