Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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