I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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