there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize