You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
