He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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