How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
