can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Too much gin, very little bucket
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
