I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
