Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
