idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
