had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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