do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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