just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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