this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
