i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
