I wanna bring you to show and tell
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
