Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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