I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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