I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
