Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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