My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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