whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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