how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
