just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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