just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
