worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
