think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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