he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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