WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I understand Curling. That high.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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