I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
